What to Wear: Vintage flamenco shawl
What NOT to Wear: The pirate look (unless you're Johnny Depp)
What to Shoe: Espadrilles w/needlepoint detail
What to Bag: Les Sacs Louison gym bag
What to Jewelry: Ashley Morgan Designs
What to Accessory: Leather bookmark
What to Hair: Diptyque OY'DO hair/body wash
What to Fragrance: Suki Body Oil
What to Makeup: Annick Goutal Creme Splendide
What to Bargain: Kung Fu slippers
What to See: Palindromes
What to TV: Sheer Dallas
What to Tivo: Elvis
What to Listen: Bruce Springsteen, "Devils & Dust"
What to Download: Matisyahu, "King Without a Crown"
iPod Rediscovery: Rolling Stones, "She's a Rainbow"
What to Read: Alan Hollinghurst, A Line of Beauty
What to Eat: Saut'ed baby artichokes w/proscuitto & parmesan
What to Drink: Tahitian Treat (Bacardi Limon, Amaretto, Cranberry, Sprite)
Secret Weapon: Hanky Panky thongs
Crazy Weird Couple: Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise
Looking Extra Foxy: Richard Marx
Looking Busted: The Anthony's
Looking Nipped & Tucked: Katrina from The Apprentice
Sounding Extra Phony: Eva Longoria, saying that in a past life she was "an Aztec Princess"

Who cares that Ben recently reattached the ''nifer' suffix to his name? The only action worth reaction is his incessant attempt to pretend he doesn't need us to care about it all. Affleck worked in cahoots with Jennifer II's assistant to secretly fly in friends and relatives to attend her 33rd birthday bash-- just so he'd have an audience when he popped the question (and even planned on pulling a matrioshka nesting-doll trick by hiding the ring in a box within a bigger box-- to make the moment last as long as possible), only to get flustered and scrap the public proposal when the press caught on. (Apparently he handed over the $500,000 Harry Winston later, in private.) And now he's denying it all, including the fact that they're actually engaged, though we know for a fact that it's true. Honestly, Ben, we know your antics are an attempt to generate a buzz and keep us guessing over what really happened, but you're only generating a collective yawn and a small slice of pity for your fianc'e. It doesn't matter that Winona turned out not to be Forever; we miss the kind of celeb who genuinely didn't care who knew (or saw) that he was committed to his relationship. Really.

It looks like the female members from the cast of Dawson's Creek are trading up. Last week we heard that hot as a mutha Heath Ledger is going to play house with pregnant girlfriend Michelle Williams. And this week wholesome Katie Holmes appeared in Rome doing some risky business with Tom Cruise. We believe this is how the Cruise-Holmes intro went down. She said to him, "ohmigod, Top Gun" and he replied, "your work in Dawson's Creek was really brave. Have you ever been to the Scientology Celebrity Centre?" We guarantee the tabloids are kicking themselves for paying top dollar for the sterile Angelina and Brad photos when they could have simply gone with an approved cover of Katie and Tom totally macking.

SAN FRANCISCO
MC LINK-LETTERZ at the Last Day Saloon
If you have not caught Minneapolis-bred MC Art Link-Letterz performing his hysterical hip-hop with a heart then you must check him out tonight. At 9pm this eve, show up for a Link-Letterz solo set, then stick around for Lowfat. Link-Letterz will be joining this funk/hiphop/reggae outfit for the cut 'Red Stripe' (featured on their album), as well as debuting another gem, 'Not For Sale.' Also, the super group will be joined by Santana's Tony Lindsay on vocals (this dude has won fistfuls of Grammy's, and recorded with everyone from Curtis Mayfield to Aretha Franklin!) The show starts at 9:30 sharp. The Last Day Saloon is located at: 406 Clement Street @ 5th Avenue, 415.387.6343.

LOS ANGELES
PROENZA SCHOULER Trunk Show
The collection is funky yet stunning, and definitely worth checking out. Besides, young designers are so IN right now it'll be an extra treat to have 20-somethings Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough on hand to personally show you each piece of the Proenza Schouler line. Today, April 29th, 1-4pm. Barney's Wilshire is located at: 310.276.4400.

NEW YORK
ROBERTA FREYMANN Moves
Roberta Freymann's eclectic and hard-to-find shop has recently moved locations. Now you can find Roberta's irresistible global finds like soft white cotton tunics with hearts, silver earrings from Vietnam, and chic shoes from South America at her new, expanded home. The prices are reasonable and the looks are totally original. Roberta Freymann is located at: 153 East 70th Street, 212.585.3767.

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