Los Angeles Newsletter, May 19, 2006

What do all of these harlots have in common besides an array of straight-to-video films and a penchant for a certain Greek dude? They're the new millennium's true gangstas. The folks over at Best Week Ever likened this menacing mob of hair-extended stars to an all-star crew of 90's hip hoppers: Lindsay as Biggie, Paris as Tupac, and MK as Snoop. Let's break it down for you: LL hails from the East, and like Biggie spit fire, trades disses in the form of tabloid quotes. Paris reps the West and like 'Pac, "shifts allegiances carelessly and constantly". And like the D.O. double G, MK keeps it on the freaky fashion tip with dookie chains and her version of a pimp cup, a steamin' Starbucks Venti. And in other Paris related beef...
*Photos licensed to: Photorazzi

CONTINUE READING...KEEPIN' IT GANGSTA

While we're in comparison mode, we feel the need to compare and contrast our two favorite Bravo shows, Top Chef and Project Runway. While the designers are more our speed, the chefs speak a crazy foodie language all their own. Let's start with the villains: Tiffani could be interpreted as a knife-wielding, sharp-tongued Santino. Her hair may be just as kinky, but she sucks at impersonating the monotone warble of Top Chef's version of Tim Gunn, Katie Lee Joel. And, where Santino's eyes bugged out of his head, Tiffani's beady peepers seem like they may disappear amongst her ample freckles. Not as flamboyant as "where the hell is my chiffon" Andrae, Dave's freaky shoulder ticks and blubbering crying jags are slightly reminiscent of the sweet cue ball. Sommelier Stephen is a blowhard like Zulema, and the Everyman played by Daniel V. on Project Runway is like TC's Harold, way talented and appropriately humble. And with that said, we're pulling for our handsome Harold in the finals.
*Photo credited to: Bravo

We Love Harold!

Starting a band? Then you'll need all the necessary elements, including a cornucopia of musical apparati - just ask rock heiress Nicole Richie, who was seen shopping for instruments this week. But instead of scouring the local Guitar Center for her melodic needs, Nicole was seen leaving an ethnic foods market with tabla and giant keyboard in hand, while sporting a snazzy magenta sari. If Nicole is planning on assembling an all-girl band, we hope to see Mischa Barton rocking the sitar, Nicole banging on the tabla, and Linds-Lo tickling the ivories. It's the perfect marriage of East-meets-Hollyweird musical magic. If Rachel Zoe managed the trio, they'd be guaranteed not only international success, but a stage wardrobe consisting of peg-leg jeans and blous-y salwar kameez inspired tops.
*Photo credited to: hollywoodrag.com

Band Pics

WE OF THE NEVER NEVER Sale
Tired of seeing the same lines at boutique after boutique? Perhaps it's time for you to take a trip down under - by visiting Australian designer boutique We of the Never-Never, that is. There's no need to hop a plane to snap up goods from Aussie's hottest talents, including Nicola Finetti, Tina Kalivas, Camilla, and many more. Stop in through May 20 to save over 50% off of the store's most coveted lines. The major discounts are a wonderful excuse to infuse your closet with some Australian style. We of the Never-Never is located at: 8628 Melrose Avenue, 323.655.6550. Click to We of the Never-Never Online.

POLKADOTS AND MOONBEAMS Sale
Shop the pre-Memorial Day sale at Polkadots and Moonbeams, a virtual treasure trove of feminine wears. The boutique carries a wide selection of contemporary and vintage fashions for your shopping pleasure. Save on your favorite lines, including Rock & Republic, Joystick, Juicy, and find discounts of 40% off of Frye Boots. Polkadots and Moonbeams is located at: 8381 West Third Street, 323.655.3880. Click to Polkadots and Moonbeams Online.

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