Ever feel like your head's going to explode after a night of one too many Fernet shots? Feel a little sluggish after drinking that third Long Island last night? Wish you could just stay in bed all day and die after pounding that Jaeger Bomb? Well, I have a refreshing solution for you. No, not the Hair of the Dog, but this new Too Drunk...Emotibom from Lush. Throw this in your bath and the peppermint, marigold, fennel and sweet orange essential oils wake you up, soothe your aching noggin and slowly bring you back to life from your zombie-like state. Now if they could only come up with something to get rid of that drunken hookup still passed out in your bed...

Not everyone is blessed with perfect skin, invisible pores, and an ideal complexion like me. I NEVER need something like this Jouer Essential Matte Touch. Since my skin is NEVER oily or greasy I don't need to use this botanical mattifier to absorb excess oil, but JUST IN CASE I did, it's nice to know that it purifies skin with Willow Bark Extract and calms irritation with antioxidants, while firming and moisturizing with Vitamins C, D, & E. If you need that sort of thing. Not that I do. NEVER.

Break out the absynthe and throw on that can-can dress, it's time to bring out your inner lady marmalade because Lancome has introduced this new Juicy Tubes Rose Fishnets Lip Gloss. Housed in a fishnet-decorated tube which evokes the famous Moulin Rouge in Paris, it's a perfect-for-everyone rosy-nude shade, glimmering with hints of gold to make your lips look big and kissable, just in case Ewan McGregor's around.

Like a lot of people. I mostly just use my hands to wash my face (and cleanser, of course). But now I'll be using these Spacell Facial Sponges. They're made from a cool honeycomb-like material specially designed to cleanse, exfoliate, and stimulate blood and lymph flow to decrease puff, eliminate toxins and stimulate cellular renewal. Plus they're antibacterial and quick-drying, so there's no chance of germs contaminating your perfect complexion. These little gizmos almost make your hands seem obsolete, don't they? Well, maybe not... but close.

The brand name alone sold me on this Chains Rhinestone Knotted Necklace: Dirty Librarian. I imagine this rhinestone, gold and silver chain necklace would be something a dirty, kinky librarian would wear. Pretty enough to look prim and proper, yet possessing a twisted, warped quality that hints there's a little freak beneath those horn-rimmed specs. Hmm... time to whip out that library card and whip on this naughty but nice necklace.