Ever feel like your head's going to explode after a night of one too many Fernet shots? Feel a little sluggish after drinking that third Long Island last night? Wish you could just stay in bed all day and die after pounding that Jaeger Bomb? Well, I have a refreshing solution for you. No, not the Hair of the Dog, but this new Too Drunk...Emotibom from Lush. Throw this in your bath and the peppermint, marigold, fennel and sweet orange essential oils wake you up, soothe your aching noggin and slowly bring you back to life from your zombie-like state. Now if they could only come up with something to get rid of that drunken hookup still passed out in your bed...

Not everyone is blessed with perfect skin, invisible pores, and an ideal complexion like me. I NEVER need something like this Jouer Essential Matte Touch. Since my skin is NEVER oily or greasy I don't need to use this botanical mattifier to absorb excess oil, but JUST IN CASE I did, it's nice to know that it purifies skin with Willow Bark Extract and calms irritation with antioxidants, while firming and moisturizing with Vitamins C, D, & E. If you need that sort of thing. Not that I do. NEVER.

Break out the absynthe and throw on that can-can dress, it's time to bring out your inner lady marmalade because Lancome has introduced this new Juicy Tubes Rose Fishnets Lip Gloss. Housed in a fishnet-decorated tube which evokes the famous Moulin Rouge in Paris, it's a perfect-for-everyone rosy-nude shade, glimmering with hints of gold to make your lips look big and kissable, just in case Ewan McGregor's around.

Like a lot of people. I mostly just use my hands to wash my face (and cleanser, of course). But now I'll be using these Spacell Facial Sponges. They're made from a cool honeycomb-like material specially designed to cleanse, exfoliate, and stimulate blood and lymph flow to decrease puff, eliminate toxins and stimulate cellular renewal. Plus they're antibacterial and quick-drying, so there's no chance of germs contaminating your perfect complexion. These little gizmos almost make your hands seem obsolete, don't they? Well, maybe not... but close.

The brand name alone sold me on this Chains Rhinestone Knotted Necklace: Dirty Librarian. I imagine this rhinestone, gold and silver chain necklace would be something a dirty, kinky librarian would wear. Pretty enough to look prim and proper, yet possessing a twisted, warped quality that hints there's a little freak beneath those horn-rimmed specs. Hmm... time to whip out that library card and whip on this naughty but nice necklace.

Hey, man. Peace to you and to all who would rock these super-hippie and super-hot Feather Bobby Pins by Laura Kranitz. They're so cool, man, that when you throw these pins in your 'do and mosey down to the sit-in in Golden Gate Park, you'll be the hottest hippie chick in the whole joint, dude. So after you douse yourself in patchouli and throw on your new bellbottoms, throw these in your hair and you'll be ready to get your boho-chic on. Far out, man.

Waist belts do wonders for the figure--they hold you tight in all the right places, and emphasize a stunning hourglass look on anyone who wears them, even if you look more like a fruit (apple, pear, etc) than an hourglass. And better yet, when it's made in a chic blue/black/light pink-colored striped elastic combo like this VPL Tri Unity Belt, you can achieve that hourglass look while still being allowed the comfort of eating your lunch and, well, breathing at the same time. Which is good.

Cross-body bags are great. You don't have to worry about them slipping off your shoulder and both of your hands will be free to tote your venti latte and your PDA without risking a coffee spillage. Even better is when said bag is a stylish and cute (but not too cute, heaven forbid) heart-shaped Prisoner of Love Bag from Betsey Johnson. Aptly named, this cross-body bag is a heart decorated with chain details and a cute (but again, not too cute) tassel zip. So arm yourself with this bag, and leave your own arms free to do whatever they please.

Snakes and flowers. Two opposing sides of the spectrum, yes? Well, on this gorgeous 2 Petal Flower Ring by Kara Ross, opposites will collide (and attract). A gold flower-shaped ring with amethysts, adorned with a subtle python print in purple and brown. So wear with care: these petals have fangs!

Do not, repeat, DO NOT wear these Rivington Ankle Boots by Alice + Olivia for Payless if you don't want all attention to be on your feet. The black patent leather, peep-toe, front zip closure, towering wedge heel on a 1" platform and unique front shield detail will draw all eyes to your tootsies. So go out and get that badly needed pedicure, because you have to be prepared when wearing these babies.