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Brunch: The Daytime Disaster |
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On the heels of Mother's Day, this Saturday or Sunday, before you venture forth from your cozy environs, remember, there's no other meal that incites whining quite like weekend brunch. This in-between breakfast and lunch ritual can be hellacious, especially with a hangover. Typically, when rolling to brunch, the group (it's always a group, isn't it?) is starving, ravenous, and mildly cranky. Everyone needs coffee, a Diet Coke, a few Advil, a cold compress, etc. Usually there are no showers beforehand, so at hipster brunch spots, there is always a faint smell of booze, cigs, and sex. Everyone looks bleary and beat up from the night before - sunglasses are required. And since the wait for a table is always interminable, the brunch loaf-around on the sidewalk is the most fertile ground for eavesdropping. Conversations revolve around last night's gig, who needs greasy bacon immediately, who went home with whom, and how much everyone imbibed. Sometimes free coffee is provided during the wait, people become amped, and the scene gets totally wack. Caffeine overload often impairs ordering ("should I have the eggs benedict, the tofu hash, or the pancakes? I don't know if I want sweet or not..."), rendering the wait staff's jobs even more trying than they already are. While brunch is a delicious treat of a meal, it can be an exhausting, 3-hour ordeal. You usually end up back where you started, in bed.
Hipster Brunch Spots in your City
SF: Boogaloos - You can always spy an indie-rocker post gig at this Mission favorite. Long lines, veggie gravy and biscuits, lots of hipster posturing.
NYC: Enid's in Brooklyn - Gawker perhaps put it best, "the restaurant epitomizes everything that's wrong with the brunch ritual: insanely long waits, ostentatiously hip crowds reeking of booze from the night before, lots of sceneiness and and little emphasis on, you know, food-eating."
LA: Toast - Hollywood folk crowd the 3rd Street sidewalk angling to see which celebs are sitting inside eating a turkey bacon breakfast burrito.
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