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What to Splendora: Heads Up: Splendora's New Deals Launch July 3rd!
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Darlings,
Even though most of you only get one day to play this year, we still want to wish everyone a very happy 4th of July. Since you are relegated to celebrating for one day and one day only, that means you must go for the gusto and eat your fill of nitrate-filled hot-diggity dogs. Remember to tell us all about your antics (fireworks, beer in koozies, etc.) in your Splendora Diary.
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Splendora's "What to" List |
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Welcome to the Jungle: The iPhone Debuts |
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Today signals a landmark in modern day communication and marketing. The Apple iPhone will be released at 6:00 PM, thus elevating the National "Crazy" Alert to Code RED. If you thought Stella for H&M was bad, that Anya Hindmarch's "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" engendered a retail frenzy, you obviously underestimate the gross power Apple holds over our collective consciousness. The touchscreen device's provocative design has inspired droves of monied techies to camp out to score one, battle plan established well beforehand. Why? It's a super-phone! A camera! A mini-TV! A photo library! Wireless internet! We've heard of carrying your life in your purse, but the iPhone elevates that concept, making it possible to conveniently wrap up your (virtual) reality in a sleek, pocket-sized gadget. Goodness gracious, people. The phone is impressive and a damn pretty thing to look at, but we're amused to see that its debut has turned into a national, tech-tastic party. With campout guides and an advanced tip sheet on how to optimize the beauty out there, you'd think that many were preparing for the Superbowl of shopping events. At least some of the brave masses know where the nearest bar is in proximity to their local Apple store. After hours of waiting amongst anxious iPhone fanatics, a stiff drink will surely be needed.
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Thank You, Mika Brzezinski |
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Credit goes to Splendora Star joytothehurled for finding a clip that made our week - nay, our year. After glancing at the teleprompter on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" show, brazen anchor Mika Brzezinski proceeded to become visibly upset on camera, eventually attempting to burn and finally shredding copy about Paris Hilton's release from jail this week. Bravo, Ms. Brzesinski. Covering the heiress' red carpet walk from the jailhouse to the arms of Mommy Hilton, who waited patiently in the family's luxury SUV, hardly seemed appropriate with real world news swirling about. Larry King-type journalists should follow Brzezinski's lead; no one cares about Larry Birkhead, we don't need endless reports about Lindsay Lohan's latest stint in rehab, and one more lead story about Paris just might signal the apocalypse. Journalistic integrity - what a concept.
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"Old Spice": The Spice Girls Reunite |
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They broke up, had babies, V. Beckham got boobs, and now The Spice Girls are hitting the road for a "Farewell Tour." We predict that the reunion will still produce bad singing, diva 'tudes, and skanky wardrobe changes. And even though all of the spices are in a row, the only flavor they'll end up being is salty...when no one comes to see their shows.
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