Ever since I attended undergrad at an institution just for women, I've had the opinion that females treat one another particularly badly. In fact, that notion is one of the reasons I appreciate sites like this one, which works under the premise that we're all best buds even if we don't really know one another.

In undergrad, I had two really close friends, and before graduation my friendships with them fell apart. The fallouts were the result of the ridiculously predictable back stabbing, rumor spreading and scandalous secret-keeping, so the details are less than necessary. To make a long story short, I haven't talked to either of them in a few years aside from the occasional "How are you doing?" to check in.

I learned, through the completely spontaneous placement of a random photo album on another social networking site, that one of those old friends recently got married and will be having a baby. Looking at the pictures and learning the news, I kinda felt a rush of "wow, what happened to our friendship" sentiments, so I dropped her an email to congratulate her on her marriage and new addition.

 She emailed me back, and we did the general "I'm doing well. How are you doing?" responses, and now I'm wondering if I should email her back. I mean, I asked the typical cordial questions, and she replied with the typical polite answers. The last time we had email contact, to sort out the sordid details of what actually did happen to our friendship, things came to a boil and she felt like we had nothing more to say to each other. Now I'm not sure if all that is still true.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I genuinely want to attempt to be friends again, or if I just don't like the idea of someone no longer being my friend. Honestly, I've lived a great life without her for this long, but does that mean I should leave the whole thing alone?

I'm so confused! 

So, remember how I said I was going to curb my shopping until I found a stable job? Right. I did a great job of that--no, seriously. I have a stable job, but I've only been on duty two days a week since I got the gig. While the pay is enough to live on, it's nothing to go screaming through H&M about, so I put myself on yet another shopping strike.

Next, my editor emailed me with news my schedule was set to change, which fired me up for an increase in take-home pay. Shopping anyone? I was READY. I mean, fall is my favorite season to shop for, and I had images of sweater dresses, lucious handbags and delicious boots dancing in my head. I couldn't wait for the first megabucks paycheck, and I still can't as it hasn't happened quite yet; but alas, another little mishap reared its ugly head.

Recently, I've run into what I'm calling "roommate rescue," which sounds nicer than it actually is since it consists of a mission where I'm forced to move out of my house to refrain from bitchslapping my roommate in real life. On one hand, I guess it's time for me to be a grown up and live on my own again anyway, but on the other hand a good bitchslap will definitely make me feel better, right?

Once again, I'm remaining on shopping hiatus so as to move smoothly from shared housing to independent living with enough cash to hook up my pad (I can't believe I said that), but I'll probably try to sneak in a pair of boots here or a sweater dress there. I'm going to have my shopping adventure eventually. I PROMISE life's circumstances won't keep stifling my shopping GENIUS!

My roommates and I have decided to remain in Highland Park, what I've started warmly referring to as the gateway to my two golden worlds of Los Angeles and Pasadena. Now that I've secured stable employment and a reasonable place to live, I'm ready to kick up the juice on my itty bitty social life. I'm currently in Sacramento visiting my boyfriend, but I have a list of things I'd like to dip into once I get back down to town.

1. I want to go to the York (theyorkonyork.com), a new eats and drinks place in Highland Park. I'm thinking about heading over there with friends to survey the scene and share a plate of their wings, which they serve with serrano, honey, cilantro and lime. Now that Moose McGillycuddy's is closed, this could become my new hangout.

2. I want to go to the Watts Coffeehouse, because apparently they serve everything I like to eat and they have live music acts perform from time to time. I think I'll take myself over for a leisurely Sunday brunch before I go to work next week or something.

3. I want to get in my kitchen, make a Georgia Peach and read the final issue of Jane magazine with my toes out.

4. I want to open my front door and find my very own Zzz Animal waiting for me! I've checked out the website, firststreetonline.com, and I've decided I want a pug. Maybe my boyfriend'll take the hint, since I sent him the link as well. Ha ha ha.

I wonder how long it'll take me to cross off everything on this list. Give it a week--maybe even two.

So I've managed to secure stable employment, or at least something that looks like it. I'm still not shopping, because for a while this position will be both part-time and temporary. I'm also supposed to be saving up a bit to move into my own apartment in a couple months.

I believe I should be allowed to browse and pick up at least a little something as a reward for being responsible and holding off for so long, especially since my favorite magazine will no longer be publishing and I have a difficult party to get through tonight. That should get me at least two trips to H&M, right?

I'm saddened by the fact that a magazine I've been reading since I was 15 won't be going to print after this month. I mean, I honestly feel like Jane magazine has had a hand in raising me, and although many people may believe I was inspired to study journalism as a result of my addiction to Sex and the City, that motivation actually came from the great Jane Pratt.

I was close to tears when I learned Jane Pratt stepped down as editor in chief from my favorite mag, and I called myself tolerant and open-minded for at least giving Brandon Holley a chance. Unfortunately, I knew the end was near as I stalked the mastheads every month looking for changes in the staff I'd come to know by first name.

Emily dropped from the pages early, and I missed her Sex Diary columns somethin' crazy. Kenya disappeared, and I missed her crazy dating stunts and witty music reviews. The last straw was when I had to start getting my Claudine fix from her blog as opposed to her usual food, travel and feature stories. It was like I could actually see the dark cloud settling over the very thing that brought me through the awkwardness of puberty, high school, undergrad and early adulthood. What on earth am I going to do with myself now?

I'm going to go shopping. I promise to only buy something to accent or enhance my outfit for tonight--that means either a shirt or a pair of earrings. My friend's having his birthday party at Sugar, and I'm penciled in to go and celebrate. I haven't been on the scene since just before graduation, and I'm kinda anxious to shake a little booty. The only problem is that a former flame will be in attendance, he called me yesterday and I answered and chatted for a bit like an idiot, and I've kinda moved on with an actual boyfriend. I deserve SOMETHING to calm my nerves, don't I?

What are the odds that a new shirt will take the edge off better than, say, a Malibu bay breeze?

      I'm in a state of transition right now, and I hate that state of being as much as I hate the phrase itself. Ordinarily, I'd spend my first days of summer shopping for shorts, flip flops and bathing suits to keep me fly despite the heat. Transition is making that completely impossible.
     Since I'm literally in the middle of my temporary position as the editor at the Sundial, an independent student publication at the university I just graduated from, I have limited funds. That does not make me a happy girl at all. I'm in the runnings for a more permanent position, so I've challenged myself to a month of no frivolous spending until I have a more stable meal ticket. Oh the horror!
      I haven't been to the beach at all yet, because by my own admission I have no cool beach attire yet. As soon as I've secured regular employment and housing, (more about my borderline homeless status some other time) I'll be in the clear for some sunblock-slathered romping and reading in the sand and sun. I'm looking forward to it, even if I have to enjoy it in last year's turquoise bikini.