Little Miss Sunshine. . .a la Baltimore

       I am up before the sun breaks at 6 a.m. and I am leaving work long after the sun has set.  I have 6 large scale events occurring in the next 3 weeks, and the pressure to prove myself in a new position is always present in the back of my mind.   Subsequently, I have gone from running 6 miles a day to none and despite the impending holidays, I’m really not feeling a whole lot of cheer, but I am feeling a few extra pounds around my thighs.  So imagine my surprise, when I found a little bit of sunshine 100 ft from my doorstep at 9pm after an arduous day at work.

            As I approach my doorstep, I acknowledge the police men having a cigarette.  About four or five officers have been living in a police mobile parked outside of my house for three days. This police vehicle is no rapist sized van.  It is a full on motor home, that runs 24 hours a day, flashing lights and all.  When I ask, “Why are you here?” They say, “For your safety.”

 I want to say, “Fabulous!  Where were you when my house was robbed twice, my boyfriend’s car was hit, and my neighbors were dealing drugs?  And is there any way you can not talk about the ass you got last weekend while I am trying to sleep?  Thank you kindly.” 

Of course, I really just smile and fumble for my keys, when something distracts me.  I put my stuff down for a second.  It’s safe. Remember, there are three overweight cops eating donuts outside my house.

I look into the alley around the corner.  To my delight, there is a woman embracing life to its fullest.  True—she is obviously on some type of drug that is aiding in her delusional euphoric state, but all the same, I am enthralled. 

I sit there amazed by her for a good 5 minutes as she twirls and sings, “She’s a very freaky girl. The kind you don’t take home to mother. . .”  I burst out laughing.  She looks exactly like Olive from “Little Miss Sunshine.” 

It is said that the holidays bring the freaks out.  Perhaps it’s true.  Personally, I couldn’t keep myself from humming Super Freak while I made dinner that night.  And you know what?  I felt a whole lot better.  Perhaps being a Freak ain’t so bad afterall.