My own favorite heart troublemaker, Mr. D., took me to see Sex and The City last night at 12h35 AM, a sign of his good will to craft our own happy ending, in all senses of the word. We laughed, and I cried; we held hands, but something was missing. The magic between Carrie and Mr. Big. The brilliant twists and random encounters and reflective moments that had us identify to the tv series. How did Mr. Big lose all of his edge? Where is the virile, yet insecure behavior that gave the jackass his deadly charm? Can a man really change overnight, once he settles for 'the one?' How did Mr. Big become so boring? And how did the girls turn out to be so neurotic at 40 years-old? How do I not want this Manolo-branded fairy tale as my reality anymore? Did we outgrow SATC?

I committed to making a star appearance at my best guyfriend from high school's 25-year-old surprise birthday party next Sunday night, the night before I head back to my new & improved life in New York. Thing is... two of my major exes will also be attending the dinner, one of which I'm definitely over; the other one I never had a chance to close the deal with... I can't stop thinking, should I ask him to go for a drink with me before dinner just so we have some one on one time to catch up? I mean, I have no intent to spark a flame or to carry on a long-lost relationship, but I value him and I can't imagine partying with that group of people without having some kind of complicity with him... Should I just be strong and go on my own without expecting anything from anybody?

It is my third day today without smoking cigarettes, and it's kind of easy because I'm not in the city, nobody in my family smokes, and so less temptations... Do you have tips for when I get back to New York? Especially when you drink, is there an alternate oral fixation that feels as good?

The snow is still falling down heavy at the lakehouse and I feel like time has stopped since I got here.

While the men are watching the hockey game, the ladies convinced me to hide away from my cracktop and indulge in a girly movie, A Little Princess. I've rarely seen a movie director capture so clearly the mind and imaginaire of young girls in such a timeless way. I laughed and cried simultaneously and remembered before blogs existed when I used to write pages and pages of fictional charms and neverending dragons & enchanteresses stories, sitting in the middle of a flower haven in my grandparent's backyard. Dream on...

Guess who’s back!? I've been hiding behind walls of excuses and decided not to write in my infamous Splendora diary for weeks. I couldn't take the time to sit down, face myself in all honesty and agree to share my soul searching & deep core processing even with some of you my ladies who kinda share my journey since its beginning (the U.S. journey at least), get my roots and actually enjoy reading me. I didn't log in tonight to write up a retrospective of the last three months of my life. You'll figure everything out sooner than later. I'm starting to write in this diary again for the right reasons today, most important one is I miss my fabulous online girlfriends - but also, I have a confession: I uninstalled MSN Live Messenger from my computer last Monday. That means that I have at least two more hours to write and be creative instead of wasting my time curating drama. Word of the day: Freedom. Just like that.

I had my hair done at Cutler Soho by a fabulous lady called Laurie Edwards after a very long lunch at Balthazar (and complimentary champagne).

Cutler Soho: 465 West Broadway / 212-308-3838

I warned you ladies that I was going to go back to blonde. I've been talking about it for a while now. Truth is, I'm trying hard to move forward, and somehow I hope lighter hair color will help me in the process. I went from platinum to dark redhead when I first met D, and now I feel the need to switch ahead to the soft hand side of things. No more fighting and steaming reconciliations. No more anger and guilt. I'm taking responsability for every single bit of my discontent, or bliss. I live in an old lady's apartment that smells like twenty years ago, but I have a balcony with a view on the East River, and I sat and had a cigarette there tonight for the first time, on my own, after he booty called me and I didn't reply. I will not be that girl who grieves about her menagerie, especially not with dealing with someonew whom I had thought to be special, colourful but authentic; arrogant but fair; and sensitive in a manly way. I loved my boy so much that I forgot about myself. A very common behavior at my age, I agree to it, and I don't mean it was all bad. I just aspire for new horizons, hope for even greater stories.

Two russians found the best use to a scanner ever. Face your pockets or spy on other's!

Remember a while ago I posted this YouTube video called Women in Art? Well just today, I found (thanks mom!) a page detailing all of the paintings featured in the video, and I saved them all in my IM icon folder. Today, I feel like this painting, "The Mask," completed in 1905 by Louis Welden Hawkins. Serene, symetric, just a little blue.

When it comes to fashion, I basically only spend on shoes and dresses. I'm starting to look for four spring outfits, and this fabulous new creation from my favorite, Heidi Merrick, caught my eye. I like to think that her Vivian is named after me. I love Heidi's collars and this photo makes me want to leave my hair curly and wear it up... or (god forbid!) die it dirty blonde... Can't wait til spring!