It's almost here...the dreaded 22nd birthday. I can smell it...it's so close.

       Okay, it's really not that bad. It's just that now that I'm in my 20s I like to take time each birthday and reflect where I'm going, how things have changed, and what I want to do. Usually though it all results in a giant blur. My 20s are just confusing.

       It's hard  to figure out if I'm going the right direction at times. If you read Cosmo, it says I should be done college and starting my career in corporate America and maybe engaged. But in the real world it so is not even like that. I'm in my junior year of college a semester behind due to medical complications, I work a meaningless job as a registrar in a hospital and I just started dating. Talk about a late bloomer..

       I suppose I should not worry  too much about any time constraints. I still am young but at the same time aspire to achieve so much. Lately I've been thinking about what I need to do to be happy and achieve my dreams. I've decided I want to be a consultant for a fashion company or beauty company. It's where my passion lies. I would love to be the PR person for Estee Lauder, MAC, Coach, whatever. I don't know if I would get there in but hopefully it'll happen.

       The dating scene is going (I'm scared to say it) very well. I'm so used to be rejected and hurt that for once in my life I think I found someone who actually may love me, for me. And you know what? It feels AMAZING. I still have the issues of letting my guard down but I'm working on it. I try to be as caring as I can with him but still it's all new to me to have someone see me both inside and out. It must be going pretty swell though. Usually I'm over his place about twice a week. Lately though I've been there almost every day. We watch tv together falling asleep on the couch, play video games, or watching sports. I've even spent a week at his parent's house with him. For once I'm scared because I think I may have met my match.

       There's a lot going on and a lot I want to change but I just need to take some out to reflect on it. After all there's only 8 more days to go till the big 22.

OMG I am so tired...I just need to sleep. I HATE working in this emergency room! Can I just say as a person who works here most of her time that people are stupid! Okay..not all people. Just 80%. For Pete's sake, DO NOT come to an ER for the following things:

 1.  A common cold...That's what Nitequil and motrin in for. You're wasting all our time in the ER.

2. A stomach virus...There is NO cure for a stomach a virus people! You have to ride it out! If you're vomiting for a day or two 9 out of 10 you have one. Get over it! Sip Gingerale and stay near your toliet.

3. If you're kid fell and bumped their head. I fell many of times and I lived. Most of the times these are new parents and they brought their kids in because they are panicking and not the kid. If you kid is running around annoying other patients, more than likely they are okay and you need to take them home.

4. You are depressed and not feeling suicidal. Look I get down too. I don't run out to an ER. See a therapist. We are extremely strssed already in an ER and we more then likely won't feel bad for you. In fact we roll our eyes at you.

5. You had sex and want a pregnancy test. Guess what? There's a Walgreen's down the road. Buy one for about $15.00 or more. It's a lot cheper then a $3,000 ER bill. 

There's a few others but these are the main B.S. reasons patients come to the ER. What they fail to realize is that usually unless it's life threatening in some way, most insurances don't have to cover every ER visit and you're also adding to the growing volume of people who crowd the waiting room. Not to mention you're taking up space from a patient who really needs it. Say like a 80 year old with an heart condition. Your cold can wait....they cannot.

 Anyways...that my gripe for now. I'm sure next entry I'll have something more interesting to write about.

  And should be focusing on that but not feeling it. Working in an ER can really tire you out. People completely forget their manners when they are sick. I don't care how bad I ever felt, I try to remain calm and respectful to the people who serve me. Oh humanity...

   So I had my pair of Sevens taken in cause they were way too big. It's a funny story..I bought them at a size I couldn't wear two years ago and now they are way to big! haha. I'm hoping they look good come Tuesday when they are done being altered. I should have had them hemmed now that I think about it but I like my jeans a bit long. But really though, who wears pants with a 34" length?! I'm 5'6 with short legs! I wish designer jeans would all start at a 32".

  BUT back to the story...so I have these light colored jeans I'm going to pair with a sunshine yellow flowy short sleeve blouse from Forever 21 and my neutral color D&G heels. The occasion? I'm meeting Boy's dad this Saturday. I figured it looks classy yet casual. I want his family to be taken with me.

Oh well...I have a week I guess. How was your weekend ladies? Anything exciting happen to anyone?

  I'm feeling pretty good right now...

  I got my old battered lime green VS sweats, a ratty wife beater, a glass of Arbor Mist, and a baked apple in the oven. It's just one of those chill nights. "Boy" is at work at for once I don't care what he's doing. I'm NOT making him dinner and going to his place for the night. I don't want to cuddle, watch movies, and fall asleep with him. I just want solitude, to be alone. Maybe later this week but now I just want rest.

  I want to soak in the tub, read my PR book, and focus on what to write for my press release. I want to file my nails and paint my toenails that hot pink my mother hates. I want to be in bed under the sheets and not worry about school or anything till tomorrow. I want alone time. I have turned off my Blackberry for the night. My away message is up and I'm not checking it till tomorrow. I just need to be alone with my thoughts tonight.

WHY WHY WHY  am I so fricken tired?

It's like I cannot stay awake for the life of me to finish my ton of assignments, read endless chapters, or even schedule a social life! There has to be a way to balance everything and still get at least 6 hours of sleep!

I'm so tired. My home life sucks (what I wouldn't give to move from my mother), I have a ton of studying to do since I've been out of the hospital, and I can't find time to even see my friends without passing out.

College is difficult and it's not getting easier.

 So yesterday  I actually made it to the gym. Well I was kind of badgered into going to the gym..

 I was home sick with cramps and lovely case of PMS when I decided to go online to see who was on (actually it was to see if Boy was on) when I saw Jill was online.  I decided to message her and see what she had been up to lately and we got to talking about lack of motivation fin working out.

Okay, usually I do workout and eat healthy. But lately, I've been feeling blah and frumpy. I just like to sit in my sweat pants and sleep whenever possible. . Not to mention I felt bloated from my period and my fav pair of Juicy jeans were not fitting right.

So she convinced me to work out with at the gym for a little because she needed the motivation and so did I.  I begrudgingly put on a pair of loose yoga pants, a hoodie and worked out. At first I kept yawning but eventually I felt better. We ended up talking about our guy troubles, the overly skinny hos that begrace the gym in hopes of finding a man, and why we just can't seem to loose that little bit of jiggle that we both have. What started as a 20 min romp on the tredmill turned into an hour. It actually made me realize how much I miss hanging with a girlfriend sometimes and how I get lonely every now and then. So we made an agreement that we would try and stick to our routines and rotate between LA Fitnesses.

Maybe I do spend way too much time alone..

  Ugh..what is it about me and procrastinating? It seems no matter how motivated I get myself to start early , I enjoy the pressure of deadlines.  Sprign Bring is almost over and yet I have not done one flippin thing. ::Sigh::

   So today was my first day back at my internship.  (I work int he marketing department of a hospital. ) Although I didn't stay too long today it was hard jumping back into the swing of things. (I've been sick and hospitalized for the past two weeks.)  I felt a little fuzzy sorting clippings and making a flyer for some upcomming seminar but I got alot done. The highlight was seeing my press released in the pile of clippings! Makes my little PR heart swell with pride!

   Anyways I took a coffee break to the hospital's coffee stand today to see my favorite java boy. He's this tall dark haired, Italian cutie. Absolutely yummy..haha. So I put on my best smile and lean on the counter. (Reason number one I belive in dressing cute at all times: you never know who you may run into!) I'm wearing this cute houndstooth mini skirt, a short sleeve white turtleneck sweater that has a black belt at the waist, and my tall black boots.

"Where you been?" my java boy asks.

"Sick. I was in the hospital all last week." I say

"You alright?" he asks with concern.

 "Much better. But I'd better witha  cup of coffee" I say holding his gaze.

He hands me my coffee and I tell him bye but before I do he calls me back.

"You know for someone who was sick you do look good. You always do."

 YIKES!! I can feel my heart thumping loudly.

Although I'm seeing someone a little innocent flirting never hurt.....right?