I confess I used the word R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y lightly. For me, the "R" word was nothing more than staying on top of my studies and paying my monthly bills. Thanks to scholarships and frequent calls to ma mere, it all was paid for. Entering college felt like liberation, but the exit was even more grand. So I thought...

It's been a couple of months of freelance work and my play job at the BJB in SF. I miss my friends in San Diego, college independence and random carefree shopping sprees. It seems that my parentals aren't too keen on my spending habits now that I am out of college (HAHA...I don't blame them).

So now, I am interviewing and making that transition from college student to "real" adult. However, I am not even sure what "real" means. I suppose as time goes by it'll all become clear...at least that's what EVERYONE keeps saying.

I'm fabulous; although, I've never been so broke.haha...it comes with the territory. JOB first, new botkier bag second. It seems my generation has twisted spending habits. We splurge when we shouldn't. I'm LEARNING.

Drinks with the girls at Notte: $30

Mark Jacobs Satchel: $650

Unforgettable college memories and finally understanding responsibility: PRICELESS

I usually don't have late night cravings for anything. However, I've been in a strange mood where my remisicing of my college days leads to a yearning for chocolatey goodness.

Let me take you back to March 2007...

It was my final semester at SDSU and I had just started my internship from hell in LA. On a fantastic voyage to meet with clients and vendors we stopped at a little place 2 blocks west of Rodeo Drive. The Name? Sprinkles Cupcakes.

The selection was overwhelming, but the ambience was cool. The sophistacted and clean lines coupled with the natural lighting was refreshing. Nonetheless, I was determined to taste the most clutch flavor!! 23 creative flavors, a helpful counter associate and waaahlaaa! Red Velvet. It was the perfect starter flavor, warm and moist in the center with just the right amount of cream cheese frosting.

It was bliss...until I tried Peanut Butter Chocolate.

Chocolate chips perfectly placed throughout the light peanut butter cake with a rich chocolately cream cheese frosting,HEAVENLY.

Sadly, being back the bay area means finding a new place. For those of you that know Sprinkles understand that there is NO comparison. Sprinkles Cupcakes are all the rage. However, I am willing to venture out because well, LA is no longer in my back yard! I have to re-learn the Bay Area because it is much different as a 21-year-old. I have restaurants, clubs, bars and chic boutiques at my finger tips I just need some suggestions!

Let's just say I am veerrry picky when it comes to the perfectly sculpted creation above my eyelids. My eyebrows are an extremely important facial feature. They can say everything; too thin, I am little controlling and too thick, DENIAL! So, I was holding out on having anyone touch them since I've moved back home. My dear Vicky in San Diego knew exactly what she was doing and I never had to utter a word. However, I had to come to grips with the fact that I am in the Bay Area indefinitely and can't wear a hat forever. So, I called my best friend to see where she went. Unfortunately, her darling Jennifer was booked and I needed something FAST! I called my cousin and she suggested a place ( I will refrain from naming). I made my appointment since I was leaving town the next day. As I walked into the uber luxurious spa, I felt right at home. The serene music sent me into a very "zen" place and I was completely relaxed.

"I am a perfectionist," she uttered as she asked me about my brows.

"Great, me too," I smiled.

At last, more reassurance! I was delighted. I explained my signature look; natural and not too thin, with my natural arch as the focal point.

A few rips, plucks and some waxy residue on my forehead, I looked into the mirror and gasped in horror! HALF of my eyebrow was gone and there was an arch I had never seen before. I surely wasn't happy;however, my eyebrows were shaped in such a way I looked surprised.

I DIDN'T love it. My facial expression said a thousand words. She let me leave without paying, but I DID pay for something, EMBARASSMENT! I guess it has to happen once. haha I am laughing about it. Thank God they're growing back. :-/ From now on I am sticking with Jennifer at Elements Salon in Mill Valley. She made my best friend look amazing!

**image copyright: www.comstock.com/web/search/loupe.asp?Image=C...

It's been exactly one month and one day since I crossed that glorious stage (it was May 19,2007). The announcer yelled my name wrong and I nearly died laughing. What is the point of phonetic spelling if someone still can't say my name correctly? It's TENIKA!

I shrugged it off because I was graduating and well, I had my very impressive Sergio Rossi peep toes on. The day was perfect.

However, my life after college hasn't quite unfolded like it had in my dreams. At the age of sixteen I imagined that once I received my degree, I'd head straight to the bank. Landing my dream job would be simple because well, I am smart, talent, fashionable and educated. It would only be a matter of time before Karl Lagerfeld knocked on my door and begged me to assist him. I would move into a chic loft in Manhattan and attend the most fabulous parties. Volunteering at a local children's center would occupy my saturday mornings and sundays would be spent at church follwed by brunch with the girls.

4 years of college and a dose of reality, I am singing a different tune. Karl hasn't called and I'm not sure when he will.

Truthfully, without an internship it is nearly impossible to excel in the world of public relations. It's not easy to go to school, work and intern. It is possible to do two of the three, but all three? One will be neglected and school was way too important. So, I only completed one internship, but I learned more in those three months than I thought humanly possible. Perhaps it was because I was pushed to the limit.

Now, I am a college graduate on the road to self-discovery .It has been slightly discouraging that the phone hasn't rang. No Karl, no spectacular agencies, nothing.

However, I can't complain. I'm working part-time with the gals at the Blues Jean Bar and frolicking with old friends. I've been soaking up the bay area weather, getting reacquainted with my best friend ALLERGIES, finding new places to eat lunch (everyone need to check out Sol Food the Puerto RIcan Restaurant on Third Street in San Rafael) and spending a ridiculous amount of money on new summery pieces.

School was my thing and now I am finding out that it was a security. When people asked, "what do you do," I could simply reply, "I am a student." I would receive a smile, a couple of questions about major, school and future plans, but nothing I couldn't handle.

Now, the question, "What are you doing with your life?" hangs over my head. I know I want fashion and public relations to play an integral and active role, but I don't necessarily know what my next move is.

I am in that transitional limbo period that sometimes makes me want to run out and buy that new marc jacobs satchel or stay in bed until 4 p.m. or get very excited that I have my whole life ahead of me.

Friends and family have reassurred that everyone goes through a period of uncertainty. My post-college woes are just temporary, after all, I am only 21. I know that I have the talent, charm, charisma, spark, fabulousness and eye for all things chic to do great things. It's only a matter of time. Perhaps mine is around the corner